Just A Taste
by 0mohni0
Summary: Sebastian wants to have his cake and eat it too.


JUST A TASTE

He shouldn't have gotten into this, he knew. As he crouched over his Master's slumbering form, he realized that this was partly, no, _mostly_ Ciel's fault . He had been the one who had gotten into the habit of asking Sebastian to stay with him at night. At first, the demon butler had thought that Ciel just didn't want him to collect information without his supervision.

However, this assumption was rendered incorrect very soon.

It was impossible not to see the real reason for Ciel's request when he surreptitiously slid his small hand into Sebastian's larger, cooler ones, desperately begging, but trying not to seem so, for love.

To be held.

To be watched over.

For some reason, Sebastian thought, Ciel was asking him for selfless love; the kind of love where he must give selflessly, while Ciel could be comfortably selfish and bask in the attention. Ciel was asking so-- when he knew the demon would always be self-regarding.

He was asking Sebastian for warmth and comfort, when he knew that sarcasm and ice ran in the demon's veins. But to Ciel's credit, this didn't hinder anything. The crimson-eyed demon still held Ciel's hand as the boy fell asleep, tracing it's every groove and every inch of skin over and over again. And now, when the young Earl's arm had dropped limp, Sebastian sat by Ciel's bed, unable, or perhaps, unwilling, to go away.

It was pitch black, but the demon didn't care--he could see better in the dark anyways. He could make out Ciel's cheek scrunched up against the pillow; could see his long eyelashes flutter; could perceive his beautiful gray locks slide over each other in turmoil; could distinguish pale cheeks and delicate pink lips, petite and round, pouting and quivering with his breath.

Almost as if in a trance, Sebastian wondered how Ciel might taste, when the contract ended. It wasn't that he didn't _like_ Ciel alive, in fact, he had grown quite, grudgingly attached to-- _no_. Sebastian reprimanded himself. _I came here to eat him. That was my original intention, my original desire. And eat him I shall_. He thought firmly, lips pressed into a tight smile…or was it a frown?

It hardly mattered. His eyes went glassy as they hovered over his Master's dozing outline. He could easily be called a child of great beauty, Sebastian knew. He turned Ciel's hand over his palm another time._ And of the great scent_, he thought. Ciel smelled of innocence, milk and sugar, like all children should. It made Sebastian's mouth water to think how deliciously sweet and tender that pale flesh would taste, when he bit into it and felt the warm rubberiness of raw meat. _How sweet would it be? _He wondered. Sweeter than the aroma, no doubt. The aroma…the scent of Ciel's scrubbed body, now sleeping innocently in an oversized bed, in-between soft sheets, fittingly white, the color of innocence.

The scent wafted up to him, and for one blind, hopeless moment, Sebastian entertained the idea of devouring Ciel before his time…

Sebastian knew he ought to have stopped himself, but he also knew he was a demon who gave his desires the highest priority. He had lusted after Ciel's soul, and would stubbornly have no other. He had formed a taboo, degrading contract with a human, and bowed to him on a regular basis. He put his pride down, and obeyed a child's commands. He had sacrificed his society, morals, and pride…All for this one desire. And now, it was literally in an arm's reach.

Sebastian swept all further mental argument away and shifted Ciel's hand to his right palm. The mattress bent under the weight of his knee, first one, and then the other, on the other side of Ciel's slim torso. Now straddling his Master, the demon paused. He could feel the warmth radiating from Ciel's body, could smell the child-like aroma…he could see Ciel murmur something and turn over, exposing his pale neck and shoulder as his loose nightgown slid off.

He wondered if he could hear his Master's heartbeat.

He leaned closer, and then closer, until, indeed, he could.

Concurrently, his hair fell onto Ciel's cheek, tickling him, and the child shifted again, this time resting his head inches from Sebastian's own. He could feel Ciel's breath, one exhale after another, rhythmic and serene, on his nose. He could smell, once again, the innocent sweetness of his Master's breath, body and soul.

_How soft would Ciel taste? _He pondered, still crouched over Ciel on the bed, like a wild dog sniffing its prey.

_How sweet? How tender the flesh, how silky the hair, how fluffy the lips? _Those pink, delicate lips, capable of issuing orders to kill, but also whispering short, stuttering requests.

The raven-haired demon bared his teeth and dove, hovering a hair's breadth above Ciel's skin. The breath from his mouth apparently tickled the child, because he shifted, murmured something and squeezed Sebastian's hand, before loosening his grip and falling limp again. More out of surprise than fear, the butler froze.

"Seb…Sebas…" Ciel had mumbled, and pressed his hand. Sebastian stared at his 'Bocchan', mouth closing of his own accord, eyes full of an unintelligible, confused emotion. He tried to open his mouth to try and bite that pale flesh again, but found himself unable to. He straightened slowly, now simply straddling Ciel, with his head curiously cocked to the side.

It had suddenly occurred to him that he didn't just want to eat Bocchan. _Why? _Vaguely, he guessed that he liked Ciel. Perhaps he liked him alive and by his side, surreptitiously slipping his hand in his, grudgingly riding in his arms, and murmuring his name in his sleep. He was reminded of an old saying; Sebastian wanted to have his cake, and eat it too. He tried to open his mouth again, but this time, instead of wondering how delicious his Master would taste, he found himself with an impending sense of…well, _the end._ What would he do when forced to part with young Bocchan for the last time?

The demon crinkled his nose. Sebastian had recognized that Ciel's scent was tantalizing _because_ he desired to rip that soul from the young body encasing it and devour it, but _more_ so because he enjoyed holding Ciel close to his chest, inhaling the boy's perfume; protecting what was his, now and forever.

"Now and forever…" Sebastian said. The words sounded too loud in the silent room, but a rare, gentle smile made it's way across the demon's face anyways. He now knew that when he looked at Ciel's lips, he thought not of how sweet they would taste, but of how soft they would feel.

It wasn't that he didn't want to eat Ciel's soul, for he knew it would taste magnificent, and he was what he was…He had simply acknowledged that he was in no hurry to do so. He wanted to delay his last dinner, wanted to delay _the end_ for as long as possible, in order to enjoy his Bocchan for as _long_ as possible. He would always want to eat Ciel. Just now, he realized he desired to be by his side _more. Have his cake and eat it too. _

But how does one cope with the shame of giving up, or de-prioritizing something that had been his first priority for the last few years? Now, his first priority wasn't the _destination_, it was the _journey_. He knew he would inevitably have to enjoy the destination once he got there, never mind that he didn't _want to get there anymore._

_But what had the journey offered in place of the destination? What could replace the sweet meal his Bocchan would make? _

_He once again put his elbows on the mattress, one on either side of Ciel's head, and pulled his own head closer to the child's. But now, instead of baring his fangs, his tongue slid out, and tentatively tasted the boy's cheek. It darted out, once hesitatingly, and then slowly and pleasurably sliding over his Bocchan's cheek, then towards the cheekbone, gently licking his earlobe, and then gliding over soft pink lips, once, and again, and then yet again._

_He had never thought that a taste could be more fulfilling than the actual meal. But then again, this way, he got to have his cake, and eat it too._

_FIN_

_A/N: I was struck with this idea when writing my other Kuroshitsuji fic… 'Where Claude Came From'._

_Please review to give me your opinion!_


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